


Gender in College be like:

by Ashes2Aces



Series: Gender be like: [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coming Out, Gen, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Character, Humanstuck, Legal alcohol use, Literally everyone in this fic is trans and almost all of them are nb, Minor Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Multi, Neopronouns, Nonbinary Character, Other, POV Karkat Vantas, Sleepovers, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, based on how my friendgroup interacts, jade doesnt want to clean up after wasted ppl so no ones allowed to get drunk on hir watch, this is what i would wish on everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashes2Aces/pseuds/Ashes2Aces
Summary: Other people: this character gives off transmasc/fem/nb vibes to meMe: lol the space players are spacegender, the void players are voidgender, hmm what is wind? A fluid! Genderfluid. The eldritch girls are eldritchgender and also lesbiabs, the ghost is ghostgender, binary beeboy is bigender bee/boy, crabby boy feels more like a lobster at the moment, who else? who else?
Series: Gender be like: [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063025
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Gender in College be like:

Your name is Karkat Vantas and most of your hometown friends have managed to wrangle their ways out of family shit for another massive sleepover at Jade's place during Thanksgiving break. They sort of became a thing over the years, especially after high school when the group chats got slow and you barely have time to see any of them. 

Jade opens the door for you before you can even push the buzzer. Sie's got quite the outfit, matching galaxy patterned poncho and billowy pants. 

"OH WOW THAT'S AN AMAZING OUTFIT!"

"thanks!! its… im planning on coming out to everyone today! i mean, even the people here who i havent told yet are some sort of queer, so im going for it!"

You pretend to be a spaceship. "SPACE GENDER!"

Sie does a twirl, the galaxies fanning out around hir. "space gender!!! hee hee, well come on in, a lot of us are in the kitchen right now."

You follow hir to the kitchen, speculating, "I THINK MY GENDER IS SOME SORT OF CRUSTACEAN RIGHT NOW, MAYBE A LOBSTER."

Sollux pops their head into the hallway, "yall memiing your gender2 well miine are a 2warm of bee2 in a trenchcoat and" he claps their hands and inhales dramatically "boy"

You round the corner and find a decent chunk of the invite list pouring drinks and eating snacks, "HEY EVERYONE, HOW'S IT GOING?"

"happy two fiinally bee 2omewhere ii won't bee mii2gendered con2tantly"

Everyone in the kitchen says "f" almost simultaneously. 

Rose throws back a shot of what you hope is apple juice, probably as punishment for participating in a meme. "Well, I am an eldritch being whose gender cannot be pronounced by mortal tongues."

The ouija board in Sollux’s bag spells out “my gender is gh0st” No one notices though, since it is in a bag. Sometimes commitment to an aesthetic is more important than being heard.

"My Gender Is Lesbian" Kanaya says matter of factly.

Rose nods, "I suppose I am one of those as well."

"i'm a lesbian!" says June, having just been let in by Jade, "why are we talking about lesbians?"

"WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GENDER, TECHNICALLY."

"oh i have one of those."

"I do not. I am void." mutters Equius from where he? was somehow hiding behind the shorter Nepeta.

You approach them to clarify, "AH, SHOULD I BE USING DIFFERENT PRONOUNS THEN?"

Equius looks mortified at being noticed and attempts to sink further into the wall. "Fiddlesti%s, I did not intend to be herd. I- I do not, um"

Nepeta comes to the rescue, "I purrlieve the relevant meme is 'my purrnouns are none, do not refur to me'?"

"I- yes"

“AH, OKAY THEN.”

You take pity on the void and divert your attention elsewhere. Jade is explaining to Sollux that yes, sie can see that he snuck in some alcohol, yes, they are all over twenty-one, but no, no one is allowed to get more than mildly buzzed in hir house. Based on the sharp glances sie’s giving Rose, that shot was not apple juice.

Speaking of aj, Dave has arrived, and damn, he looks good in anything. It’s been a bit longer since you had your last break up than it was last time you saw him and you still think dating someone who isn’t in your increasingly drama-filled college friend group would be nice. It wouldn’t be a rebound at this point. You know you’re his type from that one time you dated in high school. The reasons you broke up then are mostly irrelevant now. It could be a good idea. You hope you’re not just telling yourself that. You walk over to where he’s carrying June around in a hug. Dang those’re some muscles. You are both jealous of and attracted to the display.

“oh my god dave, put me dowwwn!”

“HEY DAVE. HOW’S IT HANGING?”

He puts June down with a “seriously though good to see you egderp” and turns to flash you what is for him a radiant grin. “hey karkat long time no see done anything interesting while ive been gone… any _one_ interesting” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“TO YOUR INNUENDO, NO. TO YOUR FIRST QUESTION, IDK SAME OLD SAME OLD? OH, I DID TAKE A REALLY COOL CLASS THIS TERM, IT’S A SCREENPLAY WRITING WORKSHOP AND IT IS TOTALLY MY CUP OF TEA, I COULD GO ON ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE! WHAT ABOUT YOU?”

“oh yknow me taking cool photos nerding out over dead shit being the baddest and the raddest the usual”

“lol dave who even says rad anymore?”

“me i say rad cause thats what i am”

"suuuuuuuure."

Finally, Feferi is the last to arrive.

"Cod, my family is s)(oal overbearing! I'm sorry I'm late."

"its fine! im glad you could come!! okay, now that everyones here, i have a little announcement to make." 

Most people seem to have heard hir, and with a little ")(ey S)(oalux!" and gesturing, everyone is quiet and looking expectantly at Jade.

"um, okay! so, ive already told some people this, but i thought id take this opportunity to get everyone on the same page with my pronouns. i go by sie/hir now!"

You, Sollux, and Rose all briefly applaud hir, and Feferi, Nepeta, and June join in a little late, to which sie giggles at the release of tension and does a little bow.

Dave, wonderful trans ally that he is, asks the inevitable question somehow completely inoffensively, "whoo yay jade congrats also like i dont know this set yet and i dont wanna mess it up what are the other grammatical forms please"

"oh, yes, um, sie/hir/hir/hirs/hirself."

"okay so i saw hir this is hir coat it is hirs sie is hirself yeah that makes sense thanks"

"no problem! you were very polite."

"i live to serve"

"O)(, t)(is is so --EXCITING! Moray gendery people in t)(e frondgroup, )(eck yes!!"

“ha ha, yep!!! were gonna have so much fun making fun of cishet nonsense in the movies i have picked out!”

“AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T DEVOLVE INTO ‘MAKE FUN OF KARKAT’S LOVE OF ROMCOMS’ AGAIN.”

“dont worry, none of them are romcoms, they just feature the garbage genders and their weird ideas about relationships like all mainstream media.”

“wow you really arent 2elliing the2e moviie2 two us very well.”

“its cult classics tonight!!! theyre all very silly and fun, im just putting out a blanket warning for cishet shenanigans.”

“faiir enough.”

“I purrsonally intend to meowk my own headcanons about the characters genders and relationships!”

“I will assist you in this endeavor. My mind's eye will see through their shoddy facades of binary genders to find the true names of the eldritch abominations lurking therein.”

“ii’ll ju2t call out random noun2 that vibe with the character2 and you’ll ju2t have two accept my expert gender diiagno2ii2 lol.”

"im so fuckin confused" Dave cuts in with a contemplative look on his face, "what even is gender"

"UHH…" How are you supposed to answer that? You’re pretty sure Dave’s the only cis person here, so you find yourself coat-switching automatically. Way to get whiplash.

"do you want the an2wer we giive cii2 people or what we 2ay amon2t our tran2 brethren?"

Dave looks uncomfortable with all the eyes on him and starts babbling, “i mean i think i meant that as a philosophical type question but also like im legit confused by all this like i feel kinda shitty for not getting it but also i feel like im getting pranked and gender doesnt actually exist or like i dont know how serious yall are being with what youre saying at any given point and im not in on the joke but i wanna be and i kinda feel like i am but i dont know if im misinterpreting it and im just confused by the concept of gender and like knowing what that even is or means or what im supposed to feel about it and like seriously does it actually exist or what like idk what the fuck i am anymore do i even exist-” 

“OKAY HOLD UP.” He looks at you thankfully for stopping the madness, but you are still processing what he said. He might not be as cis as you thought, and once you’ve got on your egg-cracking mental coat, you can continue. “THIS IS SOUNDING A LITTLE FAMILIAR, SO I’M GOING TO ANSWER SOME OF THOSE QUESTIONS COMPLETELY SERIOUSLY AND WITHOUT BULLSHIT.” You glare at everyone still looking at the two of you quickly while you move to be closer to him and lower your voice as much as you can.

Dave crosses his arms and leans back against the wall with a blank expression, but you’re pretty sure he’s still receptive since he gives you a tiny nod.

“OKAY, SO, YES, WE DO SAY A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT GENDER JOKINGLY, BUT ALMOST ALL OF THEM HOLD AT LEAST A LITTLE NUGGET OF TRUTH. ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS IT DOESN’T HAVE A GREAT VOCABULARY FOR TALKING ABOUT REALLY NEBULOUS OR EVEN MANY SPECIFIC FEELINGS RELATED TO GENDER, SO WE MAKE SHIT UP THAT GETS THE GENERAL IDEA ACROSS AS LONG AS EVERYONE LISTENING IS THINKING ABOUT GENDER AS THIS WEIRD, HARD TO ARTICULATE THING. LIKE, WHEN I SAY MY GENDER IS A CRUSTACEAN, I’M TRYING TO SAY THAT I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON WITH IT IN TERMS ANYONE INCLUDING ME WOULD UNDERSTAND, BUT I ALSO FEEL LIKE RIFFING OFF OF AN INSIDE JOKE WHERE PEOPLE CALL ME A CRAB FOR BEING CRABBY.”

“that... makes sense yeah”

“AND ABOUT YOUR QUESTION OF WHETHER GENDER IS REAL… WELL, THAT IS A GOOD FUCKING QUESTION, BUT I WILL SAY THAT IT IS ABSOLUTELY REAL FOR PEOPLE WHO DO HAVE A GENDER, OR A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF ONE ANYWAY. THAT KINDA EXISTENTIAL QUESTION, GIVEN HOW STEEPED IN TRANS REP YOU ARE, IT KINDA REMINDS ME OF HOW I FEEL WHEN I’M AGENDER. THAT’S JUST MY EXPERIENCE THOUGH. I DON’T WANNA TRY AND FORCE YOU INTO A LABEL OR ANYTHING BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO LOOK INTO IT? YO NEP, I KNOW YOU’RE LISTENING, WHAT’S YOUR TAKE?”

Nepeta jumps slightly at being addressed, “oh, um, yea, i think furry similarly when im agender too, like, why do people s33m so hung up ofur it when it doesnt exist lol, yknow. Dave could totally be f33ling that.”

“i mean i *have* looked up some gender shit online… i just i mean i dont know what if im just making this shit up to fit in i dont really feel strongly about it and ive been fine just living my life as a dude just…”

“i have some purrty sw33t guides at my clawtips ofur on tumblr if mew want me to send them to mew.”

“thatd be chill nep hell yeah”

“WELL, FEEL FREE TO JOIN IN ANYTIME ON OUR JOKING AROUND IN THE MEANTIME, NOW THAT I’VE CLEARED UP HOW TO INTERPRET GENDER-BASED ONES.”

“i do feel better after your spiel so i prolly will thanks karks”

“YOU GOT ANY NEW PRONOUN PREFERENCES?”

“ehh idk right now like idk if i have any preferences at all but hey i guess everyone heres trans and probably eavesdropped on part of that so honestly feel fuckin free i guess i can find out if i have any preferences trial by fire style why the fuck not”

You are probably going to use they/them until told otherwise because that’s how you personally roll, but you’ll bet your left arm that giving free rein to Sollux will result in Dave finding out what they don’t like, if anything, because wow can that bean come up with infinite pronouns at the drop of a hat.

Time to break out the gender-neutral pick-up lines.

**Author's Note:**

> in case ur interested, heres the headcanons im using:
> 
> kk: used to id more binary trans but vibes a lot with his nb friends and is a little flux, pan  
> jd: spaaace haha but seriously full of gendery wibbly wobbly tried nounself for a bit but couldn't decide on a noun sie liked and didn't think sounded weird as a pronoun, so uses neopronouns, demi/pan  
> sx: bigender duh bee/boy lol but also fluid just fits it within bi, arospec/bi  
> dv: agender but doesn't know yet, bi  
> kn: gender is lesbian: be gorl with gorl  
> rs: eldritch nb femme lesbian  
> jn: transbian, acespec  
> np: mildly genderfluid agender-mascish demigirl, pan/ace, polyam  
> eq: voidgender sorta like agender but w an extreme dislike of having even existence acknowledged, a lil but not exclusively quoiro/androsexual, qpp w/ np  
> ff: eldritch disconnect type demigirl, pan  
> aa: dead  
> tv: at least bi  
> ed: abroad but def queer  
> gz: banned by jd bc drugs  
> vk: jd doesn't like her  
> tz: making out with vk


End file.
